Here I am - There i was

Hello,
So I'm feeling way better today.  But I have to confess, I did not end my day yesterday on a good note.  The nausea last all day.  And the couple hundred calories I took in just did not do the trick.  I felt that need that perhaps some of you know to have something 'greasy' to help with the nausea.  My husband and I walked to the plaza and ordered a slice of pizza that we shared.  I only half of a 'slice' which I am not kidding myself, is still a big greasy, slice of pizza.  It wasn't even good and I felt guilty about it immediately.  I gave my husband the crust.  I figured it was a small thing but, I get no joy or satisfaction from the crust so why eat it.  And I will say this, it settled my stomach and I did feel better after that.  Maybe it was just a placebo thing and maybe I would have felt just as good with a chicken breast.  I don't know.  But I am being honest and confessing that I ate it.  What I should have done was taken a picture of it to show just how unappealing it was.  I said to my husband as we were eating it that I couldn't believe how disappointing the pizza was when it has been so long since I have had a piece.  what do you guys eat when you aren't feeling well?

So, that brings us to today.  I have not had anything to eat yet today besides coffee.  But I am getting hungry so I will have to figure something out in a few minutes. 

Migraine - Thursday

Hello,
I'm not feeling quite right.  I am just on the other side of a migraine.  My friend left this morning.  It was really great to visit with her.  I found myself kind of hurrying her out the door just before noon because I started to feel 'off'.  Within 20 minutes or so of her leaving, I had a full-blown headache and I was sick.  It was totally, awful.  I spent the rest of the afternoon napping with my husband.  I woke up at 3 pm feeling much, much better.  But I am still not 100%.

All I have eaten today is coffee and a low-carb donut from the ONS. 
I'm curious to step on the scale and see where I stand.  But I am determined not to step on until Monday.  My friend and I had dinner at Casey's last night.  It was nice.  I had a spinach salad with Calamari.  I'm sure it was high calorie and high fat, but at least it was low-ER carb. 

I'm starting to feel a little hungry now.  But I do not feel like cooking.  Hopefully I can count on my husband to handle dinner for us today when he wakes up.

Dinner was not at all fantastic, nor was it "poon-friendly".  It was simply a can of Campbell's tomato soup and a side of asparagus.  I HATE soup.  So, if I am eating soup, it's fair to say I'm not feeling well.

Today has been very unproductive.  It's after 6 pm now and I do not see much productivity in my near future.  I'm answering a few emails now that I can truly focus on the computer.

My step-son comes tomorrow.  I'm looking forward to the visit.  I'm alittle nervous about the food that we  will have in the house while he is here.  For some reason, there is a lot more hot dogs, hamburgers, pizza, cookies and chocolates around whenever he is here.  and for the record, it's not me buying it.  Anyways, I have to find a way to deal.

Hope you are all having a better day than I am


Jana

Wednesday, 2 days past "Fresh Start Monday"

hello folks,
You'll be happy to know that I am showered, blow-dried, dressed and feeling good!  In case you are wondering, the pot of coffee I made last night was a very bad idea!  It was certainly hard to fall asleep and stay asleep last night.
So anyways, there will be no photos of breakfast today.  I had a piece of peameal bacon on a fork.  That's right- not even on a plate!  I didn't feel like eating eggs this morning.  I didn't feel like cooking and to be honest I didn't even feel like eating.  So, peameal on a fork seemed like a good idea.
I have a girlfriend coming today to spend the night.  I am really looking forward to the visit.  I have known her since kindergarten!  We have lots of catching up to do.  I know she will want to talk about the fertility stuff as she has recently started on her own fertility path with her partner.  I'm a little nervous about the 'meals' though.  I am really trying to reign myself in, but she is talking about going out for lunch or dinner etc.  Sooo I am committing now to stay on track if we do go out.  Obvioulsy I won't be perfect but I can stay low-ER carb.  I don't have to get a side of fries or dessert or anything ridiculous. 
Well, I should get some work done before she arrives.
Jana

Tuesday- The day After "Fresh-Start-Monday"

Hello,
It's 4:15 pm.  I am still in my pyjamas.  I'm feeling very lazy today.  I've been working on the computer all morning.  Staying in my pyjamas is a 'perk' of having a home-based business.  The flip-side of that, is that I am only a few feet from my kitchen ALL day and that my 'job' requires very little physical movement.  So basically, what I am trying to say, is I feel like a slob.

Breakfast this morning was not cake-  sadly
Breakfast-1 egg and egg whites scrambled with a touch of shredded cheese, 1/3 of a small diced onion and 1/2 a slice of peameal bacon

For some reason my photo is sideways.  It looks like my coffee might spill on my keyboard!
If you are on Phase One - onions are not permitted.  I am technically on Phase two.  Also, I am soo sick of scrambled eggs that I can barely tolerate them without adding something to them.  I have also added a small amount of ketchup and hot sauce.  Even still, it was all I could do to choke them down this morning.  Cake is so much more palatable in the morning.

Between breakfast and lunch, I got hungry again.  I ate another slice and a half of peameal bacon.

Lunch- I fried some leftover chicken and asparagus with a few spoonfuls of PC Green Curry cooking sauce.  It was quite tasty.  The nutritional values are probably not totally in-line with a `Poon` lifestyle but it`s the best I can do some days.

I`m still `figuring` out what to make for supper.  There is still a lot of chicken leftover so it will likely be more chicken.

More Chicken it is!  I breaded and fried some leftover chicken breasts.  Yes, I know breading = Bad and frying = Bad... but these are the things I do, that keep me low-ER carb and SANE.  I can white knuckle my way through Phase One perfectly and lose some weight.  But I know I am not committed enough to maintain that.  So some small moderations, and I can keep going.  Yes, I know I am `justifying` my poor food habits and choices but it`s steps in the right direction.  My supper also included a leavy green salad and asparagus.  My husband ate the same plus a baked potato.  (At least I skipped the potato). 

 

I have been craving sweets all day.  I`ve been sucking on a few sugar-free candies.  it`s now 7:15 and I considering brewing another pot of coffee, not because I want the caffeine but because I feel like I want `dessert`



Sick of Monday "Fresh Starts"

Well,
Are you sick of me showing up on Monday exclaiming "Today is the day!  I'm getting back on track!".  Well I am.  I don't know what's wrong with me.  I don't know why I can't get focussed.  All I know is that I am afraid to step on the scale and I can't seem to get my act fully together.  And, I don't know what that means.  I do believe I have made a serious life-style change.  I do believe that I have committed my life-style to 'low-ER carb" but I cannot seem to be strict enough with myself lately to commit to the Dr. Poon life-style.  Low-ER carb is good for 'maintaining' my weight-loss.  But it is not getting me to my goals.  I HAVE to recommit to Phase one if I want to see the 150s. And yes, I KNOW I have said it all before.  Here's what I am thinking... I think I need to do a week of eating well and journaling but without the scale.  I know I am 'up' a little.  My birthday was on the 5th and I ate CAKE for dessert and then cake for BREAKFAST the following day, and I have not really reined myself all the way back in since then.  But it's time.  And from now until my husband's birthday in May, there really shouldn't be any major distractions. 
So anyways, here I am, begging that if you did read this, that you'll stick with me, maybe even cheer me on.  I do want to get on track.
I want to put this fertility stuff aside for a while.  It's hard because it's pretty much all I think about, but I need to focus on other things for the time being, things like my physical health, and my financial health.

So there will be no scale updates this week.

Breakfast- 1 egg, egg whites scrambled
3x coffee with cream
3 x glass of water with lemon
Lunch - kale salad with olive oil dressing and leftover chicken

 

Dinner- Pulled Pork, asparagus salad

 

 

My husband and I went to an auction this afternoon/evening.  I was starving.  It's frustrating at how few 'snacks' are low-carb.  I had to settle for a couple bites of my husband's hotdog (wiener only, no bun).  Once we were home we had a nice supper.  I had made pulled pork in the crock pot on Saturday, so I just warmed some of it up quickly for myself.  I steamed some asparagus in the microwave and mixed up some salad.  I made some spaghetti for my husband (his all time favorite).

 

It really is helpful to cook on the weekend and have a fridge full of low-carb options that simply need to be warmed up.  Otherwise, I find myself reaching for the quick and easy- and those tend to be either fast food crap, or carbs and sometimes both.

 

Well folks,

thanks for sticking with me.  I will truly try to do better.

Jana

 

 

160.6 Phase One - Day Nine

hello,
I fell out of the loop over the long weekend.  And truthfully, I fell off of my plan as well.  I made some food choices the past few days that were not Dr. Poon approved.  I am proud to say however that I have definitely made changes to my diet that are permanent and lasting.  even though I went off the plan I still ate much more mindfully than the 'old Jana' would have.

Here are this week's numbers so far:


                       Day 1    Day2    Day3     Day4   Day 9
Weight           161.6     160.4    161.0    160.6   160.6
Bf %                             36.7      36.6       36.9     37.1
BFLBS                          58.9     58.9       59.2     59.6
H2O%                           46.2     46.2       46.0     45.9 
H2OLBS                       74.1     74.4       73.8     73.7

Friday (day 5) was Valentine's Day.  My husband and I had a wonderful day together.  We took a 3 hour hike in the woods and had a picnic in the snow.  We drank a bottle of red wine and made love under a tree in a foot of snow!!  Who knew he was so spontaneous!  So needless to say, I burned off lots of calories.  But some of my misguided food choices were pumpernickel bread and spinach dip, red wine in excess, and a red velvet cupcake. 

Saturday (day 6) we had pizza for dinner.  I ate 3 delicious slices.  I have not had 'real' pizza since beginning this diet.  It really was a treat. 

Sunday (day 7) I think I probably pulled it together and ate properly.  I don't remember what we ate on Sunday.

Monday (day 8) I ate healthfully.  I had scrambled eggs and peameal bacon for breakfast.  Tossed salad for lunch and Chicken breast and coleslaw for dinner.  We had a hockey game in the evening and I played hard.  We only had 3 subs.  We won 5-1. 

That brings us to today.  I stepped on the scale this morning and was pleased to see that I had not gained any weight.  Obviously though, if I want to reach my goals, I need to stick to the plan and not allow myself to go off track.  It is time to pull it together.

Today my husband and I had a pretty eventful day.  He won an election at work and I had a very profitable sale.  My husband wanted to celebrate by going for lunch.  We went to a local Chinese Buffet.  I did my best to eat from the salad bar and protein.  I would be kidding myself though to say that I stayed on track.  Most of the meat is deep-fried and covered in high sodium, high-sugar sauces.  I did the best I could in that situation., and I did enjoy it.  I was disciplined enough to avoid the dessert table entirely.  So a small pat on my back for that.    Aside from this meal I have only had coffee today.  I napped with my husband all afternoon.  And now it time to get back down to business and get some work done around here.

Hopefully the scale is kind to me in the morning.  I so badly want to see the 150s but I have no one to blame for not getting there but myself. 

Jana

160.6 Phase One - Day Four

Good morning,

Here are this week's numbers so far:


                       Day 1    Day2    Day3     Day4
Weight           161.6     160.4    161.0    160.6
Bf %                             36.7      36.6       36.9
BFLBS                          58.9     58.9       59.2
H2O%                           46.2     46.2       46.0
H2OLBS                       74.1     74.4       73.8

I had really hoped/expected to see the scale drop a little further than that this morning.  But obviously my dinner choices have not been what they should be.

I'm on my first of many cups of coffee.  I'm going to get started on my computer work.  Soon the Men's Olympic Hockey game will be on and my husband and I have a date to watch it.

Until later, have a great day.  Go Canada, GO!

Breakfast- 2 eggs scrambled
Coffee x3
Lunch- tossed salad, iceburg lettuce, cucumber, cheddar cheese, Greek dressing
            -egg salad with hot peppers (yes, MORE egg)
Diet Coke
(And Canada won the hockey game 3-1, not a very exciting game to watch)
Snack- 5-6 meringue cookies (suger-free and very gross)  Not sure why, but I just can't seem to stop grazing today.  Maybe I need to drink more. 



Jana

161.0 Phase One- Day Three

Hello, good morning(ish)

I'm having a late start to my day.  I slept later than I expected, (Not complaining, but I did miss the first period of the Women's Canada vs USA Olympic hockey game).  I'm now on my 3rd cup of coffee but I only just finished shovelling my scrambled eggs into my mouth.  Have I told you how sick I am of eggs?  I'm not sure what I am hating most, eating them or cooking them.  Not that it matters, my body agrees with them and eating them seems to help me reach my goals.  So it looks like I'll be eating eggs for the rest of my life.  I personally don't buy into the eggs being bad for you because of cholesterol story.  I think eggs are so nutritionally dense that 2 eggs a day HAS to be good for you.  That's my story and I am sticking to it.  Besides anything that grosses me out as much as eggs do- has to be good for me.  I wish potato chips were nutritionally dense.  I could easily find away to force myself to eat those every day -even in the mornings.
Anyways, looks like my fish out of a cardboard box has indeed affected my scale results this morning.  No big deal- I feel confident is just a little water retention due to the high sodium.  I'm sure everything will level out in the next couple days so long as I continue to eat 'clean'.

                       Day 1    Day2    Day3
Weight           161.6     160.4    161.0
Bf %                             36.7      36.6
BFLBS                          58.9     58.9
H2O%                           46.2     46.2
H2OLBS                       74.1     74.4

Not much change in my other numbers.  Not that I put a lot of stock in the accuracy of my scale.
So anyways, time to get on with my day.  I have lots of 'work' to do.  I'll be back later to update you with the exciting list of what goes into my mouth.
                                                        ***

So the day rolls on.  I've been working away at my computer the past few hours. and boy, I can feel it right in between my shoulder blades.
Lunch was salad with cucumber and some cheddar cheese.
Here's my take on cheddar cheese.  Cheddar cheese is not a Poon-friendly food.  There are cheese options available at the Low-carb Grocery and the ONS.  They are slightly on the expensive side, but overall they are okay.  They have less fat in them which is what makes them appropriate for this diet.  I think when you diet as much as I have over the years you sort of start to get a sense of what you can 'get away with' and what you can't in terms of losing weight or maintain weight-loss.  For me, I can get away with a little bit of cheese.  I do keep my portions small.  I am mindful of the amount I use.  I like to buy old cheddar because the strong flavor means I get more taste in a smaller portion.  This is not to say that I would not do better on this diet plan if I cut out regular cheese and only used the Allegro cheese from the ONS.  In fact I am sure that I would.  I am sure that following this diet to the letter would ensure huge amounts of weightloss.  But I also know myself, and I know what my limits are in terms of how much I am willing to 'give up' and 'change' and how far I can 'bend' the rules and still see results.  So for now, a small amount of old cheddar is still considered to be 'on track' in my books.  For you, it may not be.  Now cheese curds, gravy and French fries, sadly, this is a combination I cannot get away with.  But a little bit of cheese on my tossed salad at lunch... well, I give it a pass.

Breakfast- 2 eggs scrambled
Lunch-tossed salad, cheddar cheese 2 tbsp. olive oil dressing
Diet coke
Snack- turkey meat
Dinner -breaded beef strips and coleslaw

So as you can see, dinner was a 'failure', as it was again, out of a cardstock box.  It was highly processed and breaded, fried in a factory, and then baked in my oven.  To add to the lack of nutrition, it comes with a packet of Szechuan sauce to smother it in.  The alternative, was to have macaroni with my husband.  He LOVES pasta.  Fortunately for me I don't enjoy pasta in the least, so I don't miss it in anyway. 

That's it for the day- I'm done with the computer.  I'm done with the kitchen.  I'm thinking, bed .

Good night, eat right
Jana

160.4 Phase One - Day Two

hello,

Well Day One was a success.  The challenge will be keeping myself focussed and on track.  I see now, after reviewing my previous posts, just how long it has been since I was focussed and recording my efforts.  For comparison purposes I have listed below the last record of my home scale that I could find.

Nov 29 2013

Weight    163.2
bf%          37.4
w%          45.6
bflbs         61.0
tbw           74.4

And below are my numbers for this week (Feb 2014)

                       Day 1    Day2
Weight           161.6     160.4
Bf %                             36.7
BFLBS                          58.9
H2O%                           46.2
H2OLBS                       74.1

I had hoped to lose 15 lbs by my birthday in March.  That goal is no longer realistic.  My new goal is to be 155 by March 5th.  I think it is reasonable and yet challenging.

My non-scale goal is to be able to wear a 2 piece bathing suit this summer with some degree of confidence.  That is, if the nice weather ever comes.  This winter has been brutal!! 
I have not had my breakfast yet.  I know I need to, but I just don't feel like it.
I'm still dealing with the emotions of the fertility stuff.  The tears seem to have dried up, but I am so bitchy and miserable.  I don't want to do anything.  I just want to lie in bed and be mad at the world.

                                                                     * * *

 

Well, I eventually made my breakfast and got on with my day.

 

Breakfast - 2 eggs scrambled

Lunch- Turkey meat with wing sauce (sauce was not poon-friendly)

Snack- Starbucks sugar-free soy late

Dinner- Fish and Salad

 

I didn't eat great today.  It wasn't a perfect Poon day but it was a good 'low carb' day.  So in that regard I still consider it a victory.  There was certainly room for improvement though.  Breakfast was fairly good.  Technically, we are only 'allowed' one egg.  I usually use egg whites as the filler but I don't have any at the moment and I can't justify throwing the yolk away.

Lunch, was lacking some vegetables.  Also, the sauce I used on the turkey was likely full of both sugar and sodium.  I used a modest amount, but none-the-less, not Poon-friendly.  Dinner *sigh* not so great either.  We had Highliner fish from a box.  Not something we eat often.  We baked it in the oven, but it was battered and dipped in oil at the 'processing' plant.  Therefore, it is high in carbs for this diet as well as fat.  I ate 2 pieces.  I also had a tossed salad with some olive oil dressing.  As I said, not a great day food-wise but I could've done worse.  My husband had the same dinner as me but twice the portion and in addition to the fish and salad he also had rice and potatoes.  So a small victory is that I did not have any of that.

A girl friend and I met for coffee at Starbucks today.  This friend is truly amazing.  She is absolutely gorgeous to look at- she has lost an astonishing 200 lbs this year.  When I think about the 30 or so lbs that I have lost, I cannot even comprehend what she has accomplished.  She follows her own low-carb, no sugar plan, but it is not Dr. Poon.  So anyways, she ordered us each a Dolce Cinnamon, sugar-free, no fat, soy late without sugar sprinkles yada yada yada.  It sure was a mouthful whatever it was.  I'm not sure whether it was 100% Poon-approved, but I figured if she could drink and lose 200 lbs that it was probably okay for me too.  It was delicious.  Definitely better than the Tim Horton's coffee that I am used to.

So anyways, it wasn't a GREAT food day.  It could've been a lot worse though. 

Tomorrow is another chance to get it right.

 

Good night, eat right

Jana

I'm Back!! 161.6 Phase One- Day One

Remember Me?
  It's been a while since I have dropped in to discuss my weight issues.  It has been a very tough time for me.  I lost my focus after the disappointment of a failed fertility treatment cycle just before Christmas.  I took that disappointment very hard.  I struggled emotionally through the holiday season.  I allowed myself to eat whatever I wanted in an effort to be 'gentle' with myself.  To be truthful, the food did not make me feel better.  And the scale certainly reflected my choices.  When I would step on, which was not often, I would see numbers such as 165, 166, 167.  I cared.  I hated to see the scale climb up.  I could also feel it in my pants.  They fit tightly.  But I couldn't seem to gather my wits about me enough to pull myself together enough to get back on track.
My husband, seeing me struggle, insisted we try a fertility cycle again.  So we just completed another attempt at getting pregnant.  It also failed.  And once again, I am heartbroken.  Unless you've gone through this type of thing, you likely can't relate to the sense of loss.  It's a very lonely feeling.  I'm also beginning to feel resentful and angry.  I suppose it's like any type of grieving.  You go through the different stages, denial, bargaining, anger, etc.
So anyways, that's where I am at.  I am struggling.  But as I have said so many times, focussing on my diet does divert my attention to some degree from my fertility issues.

So, in regards to the Dr. Poon diet- I have canceled my in-office appointments indefinitely.  It's difficult when doing a fertility treatment cycle to know when exactly you need to be in the fertility office.  It is so time consuming as well.  Cancelling my Dr. Poon weigh-ins just seemed like the right thing to do.  Once I get myself refocused on my own, I will book an appointment, but I don't think I want to continue with a 2 week weigh-in schedule.  I might drop it down to once a month or maybe even every six weeks. 

This brings me to this morning.  I have been more focussed the past few days than what I have been the past 2 months.  And as such, my weight is 161.6 this morning.  I consider this to be 'not too bad' - considering.  But I truly want to see my weight in the 150s.  I want to regain my focus.  I want to eat clean.  So today kicks off my first week of clean eating on Phase One.

Coffee x3 with cream
Breakfast - 2 eggs scrambled (Boy am I sick of scrambled eggs.  I have to acknowledge though that if I start my day off with eggs, I tend to stay on track much better than if I skip breakfast or eat any other type of food).
lunch- a few hurried bites of leftover white turkey meat
dinner- turkey meat with gravy, diet coke

We had a busy evening and so I did not have a proper sit-down lunch or dinner.  On the way home this evening we went through the Harvey's drive-thru.  My husband got a combo of some sort and I am proud to say I waited until we got home and I warmed up some leftovers from the weekend.  I hope my discipline is reflected on the scale in the morning.

Good night folks,
Thanks for coming back and reading my update after my absence
Jana